When we’re “in recovery,” what exactly are we getting back? What was lost or taken away? From my perspective, we are getting ourselves back. We are learning how to find our way back to who we really are, because we lost ourselves in gulps and swallows along the way.

Our emotional growth is stunted when we’re pulled around by addictions. When we refrain, and no longer engage in addictive actions, we discover that we have thoughts and perceptions about life that don’t work so well. Unresolved trauma is often buried under addictions. While many treatment programs are now becoming “trauma informed,” 30 or 60 days is not enough time to unwind years of trauma.

Numbers of years of abstinence does not necessarily correlate to a person’s quality of recovery. It can be more accurately recognized by one’s degree of serenity, especially when facing triggers and fears. Recovery is a journey; it’s a lifetime process that expands and deepens as we continue to explore the complex, interwoven layers of ourselves.

It’s so good to know that we can recover ourselves – we can choose to think and act differently! Recovery does not happen alone. Bit by bit, slowly but slowly, with the right kind of support here and there, we can discover strengths we didn’t know we had, and find the light within the darkness. When we choose to follow the inner voice that urges us to move through a fear and try something different, we’re recovering. Most of the clients I work with are beyond early recovery. They’ve had at least two years of refraining from addictive behaviors. They’re wanting to deepen their recovery by working on aspects such as practicing acceptance, self-compassion, boundaries, and successfully managing thoughts and emotions. I include somatic trauma work, mindfulness, selfcare, and having fun in this reclamation process. I mean, what’s the sense of being abstinent if we don’t feel good?